Trying to loose some...

I spent last night looking at thinspiration online to motivate myself for this week.
I woke up and went running, just as I had planned. I haven't eaten anything yet. I'll have something around 11 before I go to work, and then a lean cuisine on my break at 4. That'll be it for today.
I didn't weigh myself today. Yesterday the scale said 125, and I didn't want to discourage myself in case it went up from my horrible eating. So I'm going to do well today and weigh myself in the morning. I've lost about 5 pounds in 2 weeks which isn't bad at all.
Now if I can just lose 2 more pounds by Friday. At the rate I'm going, I should be able to do that no problem.
Tomorrow my plan is to workout, lay in the sun, pack, and workout again.
Only 5 days!

I HATE myself this weekend.
I ate TERRIBLY and I haven't worked out since WEDNESDAY.
Why would I let myself fall off track with just 1 week to go???
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
I feel sick.
I have to get back on track tomorrow.
I weighed myself this morning.
125.
Didn't feel like I reached 125 by the way I looked in the mirror.
Reaching my goal weight means nothing when I still look like a fat cow.
I have til Saturday morning to look OUTSTANDING.
I'm waking up early tomorrow for my workout. And I am seriously limiting my food intake as much as possible. I work 1-9 and won't get home til about 10pm, so it shouldn't be too difficult.
Tues, Wed, Thurs I'm working out twice a day. Friday is the last day I get to weigh myself. That is until we get moved into our new place and buy a scale. I have GOT to continue my workouts. Its always hard to get into a new routine when you move to someplace new and aren't settled yet.
5 days. I can resist food and control myself for 5 days.

Just got home from work about 45 min ago.
I'm tired and hungry.
I'm about to just pass out and go to sleep. No way am I eating this late at night. Not worth it.
Work again tomorrow morning. At least I'll be off by 5. I'm not sure if I'm going to workout in the morning or the evening.
Today at work I had the girl from the lingerie dept re-fit me, because I know I'd probably lost a cup size (which I did, sadly). She was looking at me in my bra and commented on how my chest looked "concave" and saying I was loosing a lot of weight. Then she jokingly goes "I'm scared for you, eat more."
Yea right. I still have SO much fat sitting on my hips. Its unreal. I'm like two different people. From the waist up I look thin, but from the waist down its disgusting. It's insane how I can be so unproportional. At least now the only place I have left to loose weight from is my lower body.
I feel so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open.
Sleep time.

About 126 pounds this morning.
I am so close to my goal. Omg.
I also found that that I will get to see my fiance in about a week!
I wonder if I could get to under 125 by then.
I didn't workout this morning. I've been good at working out every single day, so I gave myself a break this morning.
I had my first dress fitting yesterday. The dress really does look fantastic. The back has a corset that ties, so even if I loose more weight I won't have to worry about getting the dress taken in. It will just be tied tighter. Which is my goal. I'm also getting the neckline changed into a sweetheart, it will be more flattering on my small chest.
I'm noticing that my ribs are showing more than they used to in the front. That makes me VERY excited. The bones in my back are starting to show too. My upper body has very little fat on it. Its my lower body that won't budge. It will though. I'll make sure of that. In order to get down to 120 my body will have to drop the fat from my hips, ass, and thighs.
I'm almost to my all time low. I've just got to keep going. I can still see where extra fat is sitting.
I need to add more toning into my workout. I've just been focusing on cardio.
Starting tomorrow I'm either going to incorporate Jillian Michael's 30 day shred video into my workout, or just come up with my own routine. I really need to start focusing on my arms. That's what shows the most in my wedding dress, arms and back. I want to have killer abs too though, for when I'm in a bathing suite. I'd like to tone my legs/butt more, even though running helps with that a lot.
I guess I just want to improve everything.
My wedding is less than 2 months away. My target areas for the wedding will be arms and back. That's what needs the most improvement.

I don't think 125 by tomorrow is going to happen :( I just got back from an evening run.
I've been at about 127 since this weekend. I doubt I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and magically drop 2 pounds.
My original goal was 125 by next Thursday, so that may be more doable.
I ordered a BCBG dress for my wedding shower at the end of August and it came in the mail today. Size 2. The 4 was a bit too big, so I had decided to order the 2. It fits everywhere EXCEPT my huge ass. Its a bit too tight. If I lost an inch or 2 from that area I think it would work.
Should I keep it in hopes that I lose the extra inches, or return it for the 4, and have the 4 taken in? 
Ugh.
I've lost close to 15 pounds, and I STILL don't have the body I want. I STILL have excess fat in places.
Will I ever reach the body I want? 
I had a late lunch around 3 today, so I'm going to try and skip dinner. I want to be as thin as possible tomorrow morning for my fitting. I'm going to try to wake up extra early to squeeze in an early morning run. We'll see if that happens.
I hope to be at least 126 tomorrow.
I need to get smaller. I STILL have excess fat sitting on top of my hips and lower back.
This is starting to feel impossible.

Didn't eat well today.
At least I went running this morning. I don't feel too terrible.
My mom keeps telling me that she can really notice the weight I've lost now. That makes me happy.
Tomorrow I'm going to try and work out in the morning and in the evening. I work 9:20-5 which shouldn't be too bad.
I've managed to pack up quite a bit of my stuff this weekend. It's crazy. I've gotten rid of A LOT. I can't wait to move in with my soon to be hubby.

Yesterday I did alright. Went running in the morning. Watched the portions of all the food I ate.
Today I woke up, still 127.
I'm scared I won't reach my goal by Wednesday. I feel so desperate.
Maybe when my period ends I'll see a significant change on the scale.
I don't feel like running this morning. Its already so terribly hot out.
I feel tired.
I'm just going to lay in the sun all day and not eat.
Starting tomorrow I'm going to workout twice a day.
Less than 2 weeks until my fiance comes home. Got to get as much weight off as physically possible. I'm hoping and praying for 120.
I'm living with my parents right now, and my mother is making waffles. That doesnt even sound appetizing to me. Maybe I'll throw on my workout clothes and force myself to go running in this heat to avoid hearing her complain about me not eating what she made.

127 this morning. Down another pound!
I also took my measurements again this morning. I've lost an inch in my waist and an inch in my hips since this time last month. My thighs when down an inch too.
Bust: 31 inches
Waist: 25.25 inches
Hips: 37 inches
Thighs: 21 inches
I'm only 3 pounds lighter than when I measured last month, but those 3 pounds made a world of difference.
That's why I'm so determined to get to 125.
I KNOW I will reach my goal on Wednesday. I only have 2 more pounds to go. As long as I don't screw up this weekend. Keep everything under control for the 4th of July, and stay away from alcohol. I'm going to start doing 2 a days next week as well.
Everyone thinks that once my fiance comes back I'm going to start putting weight back on. He LOVES to eat. But I am DETERMINED not to. I want to continue loosing. We move into our new apartment on July 19th, a couple days after he gets back from his deployment. The new place has a really nice gym, which I'm excited about. I'm going to try and eat a lot of fruit throughout the day, and just watch my portions when we cook meals. As long as I make sure to go to the gym daily, I should have no problem.
I will make it to 120 well before my wedding.

Yesterday I didn't do too terrible wonderfully with food. I had the day off from work which kind of screws with my routine.
I got up early and went running though. After I went shopping with my mother for a rehearsal dinner dress. BCBG is probably one of my favorite stores ever. We found both my rehearsal dinner dress and a bridal shower dress there. AND it gets better. When we walked in I started grabbing dresses to try on, all in a size 4. I had gotten down to about a size 4 a couple of months ago. As soon as I started trying on dresses I realized that the 4's were too big. I needed a size 2. I have NEVER been a size 2 in my adult life. AND it was the first day of my period, so I was all bloated too.
A SIZE 2!
The dress I wanted for my rehearsal wasn't available in a 2 though, so I took it in a 4 and I'm going to have it altered.
I have a picture of myself in it. I cropped out my face because I'm not sure of who reads this....


Today I woke up ready to get back on track. It was raining though, which kind of ruined my workout. So I skipped breakfast instead. Before work I had some toast with tuna, and for dinner on break I just had a lean cuisine. Right now I'm hungry, but Its 11pm and I am not going to eat something this late. I'm sipping on non-fat hot choc. instead.
Today was for sure under 1000 cals.
I have this weekend off, and its a holiday weekend. I'm hoping that I can keep my eating under control. I just need to stay aware of what I'm consuming and stay focused.
I'm going to wake up early tomorrow to workout.
If I can manage to stay on track this weekend I'm hoping that I can get to 125 for Wednesday.
I still can't believe I can fit into a 2. I'm still not a perfect size 2, but soon I will be.
I'm not weighing myself until me period is over on Monday.

128 this morning.
That was a pleasant surprise.
I wonder if I could get to 125 by my first fitting.
Then maybe I could get to 120 by the time my fiance got back.
Hmmmm the possibilities.
I had a 90 cal special K bar and then went running. Its so freaking hot out, I think I sweated off half my weight.
Haven't eaten anything else. I have to go get ready for work pretty soon. I'll eat lunch before I leave, and then an early dinner on break.
Not eating at night I think has really made a difference. When I close at work I have a break at 4, and then don't eat again for the rest of the night.
I'm going to try really hard for 125 by next Wednesday, the day of my fitting. That's 3 pounds in a week. Nothing crazy.
I just have to keep working out every day.